How would you describe yourself to someone?
“Before you attack me, hear me out,” Benito says to his best friend Val.
“Why does this suddenly fill me with anxiety?”
“Okay, you know I think you are the kindest, selfless person I know, right?”
Val’s forehead wrinkles, his eyes narrow, and his normally cheerful visage hardens to a stressful scowl.
Benito releases a huge burst of air, “I set you up on a dating app.”
“Set me up?”
“I built your profile and sent it out into the Cyber-Dating Universe.”
Val covers his face with his hands and groans.
“The usual response is to describe physical characteristics, hobbies, likes v dislikes, or maybe even profession or personality,” Benito pokes his phone in front of Val’s face.
Val studies his profile on the iPhone prominently planted in front of him. He glances up at Benito with an expression similar to one learning that he has only days to live.
Benito’s proud smile dims into bewilderment, “What’s wrong with it?”
“‘Lover of small children’ makes me sound like a pedophile.”
“I thought it sounded better than elementary school teacher at the time. We can work on that.”
“What’s this, ‘Aspiring artist?’ Who are you describing?” Val snatches the phone from Benito’s hand and pushes it up against Benito’s prominent nose.
“I thought it would make you interesting. Everyone at some point aspires to be an artist of some kind.”
“Not since I was twelve, Benito. So, now I’m a pedophile with delusions of grandeur who my best friend thinks is uninteresting.”
“Once they get to know you, they’ll love you as much as I do. They’ll see all the great qualities I see in you.”
“Why didn’t you describe those when building my profile?”
“I did. I just spiced them up a bit to make you stand out above the other great personalities on the dating app.”
Val stares a moment at Benito and then throws his arm around his shoulder.
“Hey, Benito,” Val asks, “What’s your profile look like?”
Benito pulls it up on his iPhone that Val returns to him.
Val reads a little of it, then asks, “Ben, not Benito?”
“It makes me sound more American.”
“You didn’t want to go for the Latin lover perception?”
“Too deceptive.”
Val burst out in laughter catching Benito off-guard for a moment and then they chuckle together.
Categories: Friends Relationship Sample writing
Douglas Knight
I have the rich life full of a sinner wounded by misunderstanding and punishment but blessed by mercy and forgiveness.
Knight Writer 