When you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up?
He suddenly appears on our television, wavy hair, square jaw, powerful voice seasoned with a friendly Carolina accent. Billy Graham’s preaching for some reason causes five year old me to stop and listen.
I don’t know if I understand the full meaning of his message. I know I do not suffer from depression, addiction, or sexual lust. I am a frequent churchgoer whether I want to go or not. All I know is after a few minutes of listening to Mr. Graham speak, I head out to our back porch in Ft. Branch, Indiana and mimic his words.
Standing on the top step of the wooden back stairs with my mother peering through the back door’s fruit and vegetable patterned curtains, I preach fervently to a captivated audience of multiple summer stars, the constant “amen” of noisy crickets, and the blinking lights of lightning bugs. I mirror his gestures and repeat Mr. Graham’s words, “The Bible tells us we’re to love each other as much as Jesus loves us. I want to ask you do you love your fellow man as much as God loves you?”(Billy Graham Packs Wembley (1955), YouTube)
If you ask this tiny fellow what he wants to be this night in 1955, he will tell you an evangelist like Billy Graham. The next morning, I wanted to be a cowboy.
Now as I think about it, many Saturday morning cowboys in 1955, also de-emphasized rugged individualism and encouraged responsibility to your fellow man and woman. Even the Lone Ranger had a sidekick and fought for justice for all.
I became a teacher, social worker, writer influenced by my heroes to feel a responsibility to all humankind transforming slowly, clumsily not yet achieving the ultimate goal of one who loves others as myself or as much as Christ loves me.
Can evil be conquered by love alone? Only in my own heart. Isn’t that where the real battle takes place?
Categories: Author Confession Inspiration soul searching
Douglas Knight
I have the rich life full of a sinner wounded by misunderstanding and punishment but blessed by mercy and forgiveness.
Knight Writer 