“Hey, Uncle Bart, how are you?”

I hear “How are you” a lot today as the family gathers for another celebration of life. I think a celebration of life sounds better than a funeral service. This one has been a celebration of my cousin’s life.

“I’m doing well,” I respond to this young nephew I barely know, “How about you?”

He tells me snippets of some things going on in his life. It’s nice to hear and catch up.

“How’s retirement?” He asks.

I spout a little retirement joke. Then, I answer seriously. As I speak, we lose eye contact.

“There’s Paula,” my nephew declares, “Could you excuse me? I haven’t been able to express to her my condolences.”

I’m disappointed, but I understand and watch him walk away.

I remember when my nephew was born. He wasn’t able to come home from the hospital when my sister was released. I can’t remember why. My late wife would remember. I do miss her.

Alone I sit. A slideshow flashes pictures of the deceased with friends and family from youth to current. Jeff was outgoing and charismatic.

I watch. I am reminded of the first time Jeff and my Cathy met. It was at our wedding. Cathy liked him right away. Jeff always treated Cathy well.

I start recalling moments with Jeff. They didn’t happen often enough. I don’t recall a bad moment, especially as a kid. As grownups, we maybe saw each other once a year at a family reunion. Possibly more when a family member married or died.

“Are you alright?”

I hear that a lot, too. The question usually draws me back from some deep nostalgia.

“I’m fine.”

That’s all I say. Should I share what I was thinking? No, they don’t want to hear that.

I am lost again in a memory as I arise and start walking and take my place in the line of well-wishers.

“Are you doing okay, Bart?” Paula, Jeff’s widow asks.

“I was just about to ask you that,” I respond.

“Out of all the people here, you know the true answer to that question.”

Should I tell her that it gets worse before it starts to get better? Do I share that pain and sorrow never go away? I imagine how Cathy would answer, “No, she needs the truth which comforts.”  

“Jeff will always be remembered for his great personality. He always made me feel loved. Jeff kept the faith and finished well.”

Categories: Sample writing

Tagged as: celebration of life dealing with grief Fictional story grief

Douglas Knight

I have the rich life full of a sinner wounded by misunderstanding and punishment but blessed by mercy and forgiveness.