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When Misjudged and Misunderstood

Is that Paul with you?” Lon wonders.              

“No, Paul is not with me.” These words leave a bitter taste in Josh’s mouth as he remembers his feeling of betrayal from his long- time friend.

“You said you’re with a friend,” Lon pries, “Is someone I know?”

“It’s Marcy James,” Josh acknowledges, “Lon, I am at the Bend of the River Country Club.”

“You’re with Marcy at a nightclub,” Lon expresses with a tone of pure disenchantment.

Josh shakes his head, “Yes, Lon, I am with my friend Marcy James at a nightclub.”

The phone goes silent.

Josh sits quietly staring at his smart phone.  Marcy continues to rest her hand in his.  She doesn’t know all that transpired, but she knows Josh feels deeply saddened by it.

“You give your hand to me,” the pianist brother begins to sing, “Then you say hello.

 His voice, with only a hint of aging, is as smooth as his performance, “I can hardly speak; My heart is beating so.”

 Josh returns to the present company and gives Marcy’s faithful touch a gentle squeeze.
“And anyone can tell,” Josh softly sings along.

Marcy smiles, but doesn’t really relate, yet.

Josh continues by personalizing the words, “They think they know me well, But they don’t know me.”

Marcy comprehends the meaning and the pain in his heart, “Are you needing to leave?”

Josh digs deep into his soul for the answer.  He doesn’t want to say good night, yet.  It would only add to his feeling of aloneness.

“Not yet, if you don’t mind,” Josh replies.

“I don’t mind at all,” Marcy admits, “How about another cup of coffee?”

“And some dessert?” Josh suggests.

The scene above is from my novel, A River Bend. Josh Crockett was misjudged and misunderstood by a group of church deacons, and therefore banned from teaching a group of teens, his sole purpose in returning to his hometown. What is worse is that his long time friend, Paul Palato is one of the deacons and Lon Perez, who hung up on him in the scene above is also a deacon who earlier trusted Josh enough to seek personal advice. What I want to contrast in this conversation is the two ways at looking at this scene and compare that to how we might view similar incidents in our lives.

It is a sad scene. I don’t want to diminish that fact in any way. To do so means making light of similar hurtful incidents in your life. That would be wrong and only adding to the pain. I also do not want my thoughts to sound as trite as “behind every dark cloud there is a silver lining.” Even if a silver lining exists, the dark clouds are real and are difficult to overcome. I believe you have to experience the grieving process completely to have fully survived and be whole. To be side-tracked by even Truth before you complete the grief is dangerous insanity. I know. I’ve tried it. I think Truth is best served at the end of grieving. Promises are what we need to cling to during the grief to help us survive and thrive.

Josh is not lacking in faith to be hurting by betrayal. I point out here that A River Bend is loosely based on the Gospel of John. In the Gospels, we see that Jesus grieved and we know that no one had more faith in God. Josh had good reason to hurt.

he remembers his feeling of betrayal from his long- time friend.

“You’re with Marcy at a nightclub,” Lon expresses with a tone of pure disenchantment.

Josh continues by personalizing the words, “They think they know me well, But they don’t know me.”

But at the end of this journey, he will be able to look back and find some good to believe in and even emulate with a friend who might be hurting.

Marcy continues to rest her hand in his.  She doesn’t know all that transpired, but she knows Josh feels deeply saddened by it.

Marcy’s faithful touch

Marcy comprehends the meaning and the pain in his heart

“I don’t mind at all,” Marcy admits, “How about another cup of coffee?”

I’d like you to notice that it was not the words that Marcy said that brought comfort and helped Josh manage his grief. She didn’t make light of his pain by trying to encourage him with truths like “you’re going to survive this.” It was not the right time for that. She didn’t criticize the ones who caused his pain. That would be trying to put herself above the others. That’s a useless and selfish response. She focused on him and his needs. She didn’t try to be a hero and try and say and do “the right things.” She put her own needs aside and asked what he wanted and supported that.

Through my hurts, I notice this is usually God’s method. God doesn’t judge, preach, instruct, or criticize. He does keep his promise to walk with me through the struggles. Notice, I said with me. He doesn’t lead me. He might guide me, but if He does, it feels like He is beside me holding my hand. Sometimes, all I need from God is His love. I just want held.

I may be different than you. I don’t want a pep talk. I have gone through this with others and only one person ever said they needed a pep talk when I asked what they needed. Then after the pep talk, she hugged me for an uncomfortably long time. You be the judge of what she really needed.

I end with this song. I think it captures the point of this conversation.

 

Categories: Challenges Discouraged Friends Life Love Passion

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Douglas Knight

I write about what I'm thinking or what I've imagined in an effort to regain that childhood imagination and marry with my many years of real experiences. I'm getting better at it the more I write.I am a published author of two romantic intrigue novels.My books can be found at Amazon.com or if you want a personalized copy, by emailing me at douglasknight85@gmail.com.

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